Yes! I'm an Ironman!!! :)
Oh my god, where do I even start? This turns out to be a very long story. A rocky start and an unexpected ending that I will never forget...
Pre-race:
I arrived in Tempe on Thursday. Drove out early morning planned to arrive by noon. But no. I ended up stranded in the middle of Arizona desert for a hour waiting for AAA. I had so much on my mind, I forgot to stop to refuel... By the time I looked down and realized this, it was too late. my gauge says I had 13 miles left and the closest gas station is 26 or so miles away. I was about 80 miles outside of Phoenix. I thought, "Crap! You've got to be kidding me..." So, I ran out of gas. Not a good start at all. But then I thought, well, first ironman, first time out of gas... This trip certainly is the trip of first time experiences. I asked the AAA driver instead of gas if he can deliver me my mind. He said no. Oh well. So that's how it all started. I hoped that that's not an indication of how the race is gonna go.
Spent Friday and Saturday taking care of all the race errands. Picked up race packet, went on practice ride, checked out the race course, but skipped the morning practice swim in the lake. The water in the lake was so murky and barely meets the legal limit to swim in that the race almost got cancelled. So I decided that if I'm going to get sick from this water, I rather get sick on race day but not any earlier. There was triathletes all around town. Either running or biking down the street everywhere. They all looked super fit. It was rather intimidating. I thought, geez, where are all the normal people like me?
I went to bed worried and a bit nervous. Didn't know what to expect. But I thought I'll just do my best.
It all started a year ago, I saw the 2006 Kona Ironman on TV. And then found a whole bunch of ironman clips on youtube. I thought it was the coolest and most amazing and inspirational thing I've seen. I wondered if I can do one. I was training for a half ironman at the time. After talking to my coach, I signed up. And that started a whole year long of training and planning. About 2 months ago, I injured my left foot running a marathon. Then suffered additional injuries to my elbow and knee from a bike crash that ended in a trip to the emergency room. Then I re-injured that same left foot 2 weeks ago finishing my first half ironman. Lost a lot of traning time and did not have enough time to recover fully for this race. So my only goal, was to finish the race. That means meeting all the intermediate cutoff times in order to continue. And I told myself I'll never give up until I see that finish line. I don't care about the time. I just wanted to finish and hear them announce my name and pronounce me an ironman as I run down the finish chute. Just like I saw on tv. I saw this picture so many times in my mind. But will it happen? Due to the injury, I couldn't run more than 5 miles without my foot hurting, and the run is 26.2 miles. I hoped my foot will hold up.
Race Day:
Sunday April 13th, 2008. The big day. It was finally here. I got up at 3:30am. Ate bagel and powerbar and yogurt and gatorade for breakfast, then got dressed for the race. Left hotel at 4:30am. Got to the transition area right before it opened at 5 am. It was quite a sight to see all 2000+ athletes arrive and the transition area was surrounded by spectators at the crack of dawn. Finally, I saw people just like me. Normal folks of all ages and races and and sizes.
Did one last check to see all my gear are setup properly and put all my nutrition needs in the transition bags. Changed into my wetsuit and stretched. It was a mass water start. Which means the swim starts in the middle of the lake. So we ended up treading water for about 15 minutes at the starting line. It was a really amazing sight to see 2000+ swimmers around you in the water. And spectators everywhere. It was so emotional as they sang the national anthem and hear thousands of atheletes and the crowd cheering. You can feel the collective hope and desire of thousands of people.
At 7am sharp, the canon went off, and race is officially started. Ironman swim start is a full contact sport. More than 2000 swimmers fighting for position in the murky water that you can't even see your hand in front of you. You get hit and kicked. Some guys will just swim on top and over you. I tried to find my own little bubble and avoid getting kicked in the face until the crowd finally spreaded out. Swim was a 1 loop out and back. We were swimming straight into the sun going out. So it was hard to see and find the buoys. I tried to pick out land marks and just swim toward that. Went off course a few times, but got back on quickly. So the total swim was exactly what I expected. it took 1 hour and 45 minutes. Just as I planned. I knew I'll need all the time for the bike, so I took off running full speed the minute I got on land. Didn't even hear my mom screaming at me as I ran by. Got out on my bike as quickly as I could. It was a good start.
Biking was the most challenging part of the race this year. Temperature shot up on Sunday to 95 degrees and the winds had also kicked up. It was the worst condition ever. It's a rather miserable weather to be doing a 112 mile bike ride in the desert. The bike course is a 3 loops out and back. I tried to follow my nutrition plan and paced myself on the first loop. But quickly realized that the head wind was too strong I would really have to push to meet the bike cutoffs times. By the time I started the second lap, I was feeling ill and could not eat any of the solid food that I was supposed to eat on the bike. Could not drink my special mix sports drinks either. I felt like throwing up for 2 hours and saw many people pulled over on the side of the road sick. All I could drink was water. I began to feel weak from falling behind on my nutrition plan. I knew I was running on the last reserve of my breakfast, gotta do some thing quick. I was burning more energy than I was eating. I brought along some gels as back up just in case they lose my nutrition bag. And the back up now had become the main source of energy for the next 6 hours. Tried to keep myself hydrated and pour water on myself to keep from overheating. So for 8 and half hours, it was a mix of feeling sick and trying to keep my drink down and not throw up and push pedal by pedal to beat the cutoff time. I came in within minutes of each of the 3 cutoff times on the bike. It was a really close call. It was a fight to stay alive. I made it back just in time. I survived!
But with the mix of all the conditions, by the time I got to the transition tent, my calves started to cramp up when I bent over to change into my running shoes. Nooooo. Not now. With that, volunteer took me to the medical person there and they worked on my calves for a good 5-10 minutes. Damn it. Now I'm losing time. But I couldn't run with cramps. It was not a choice. Started the run portion with walking until I can feel my legs returning to normal. Then I started to jog along. With all the time I lost, I'm now racing against the clock again to meet the 10:15pm run cutoff. It's gonna be a close call now. That's my last check point to stay in the race. Come on now... please just let everything go smooth now.
I can't afford any more surprises. I figured out the minimum pace that I'll have to keep, and realized that it's just about the speed I can go right now. It was still 90 degrees out and the crowd was amazing. About half of the run course was lined with crowds cheering. And the other parts were lined with hundreds of signs that family and friends made for their loved ones. It brings tear to your eyes. The emotion and support was overwelming.
But of course, it's the ironman. It's one challenge after another. The run course is a 3 loops course. About half way through the 2nd loop, my body began to shutdown for unkown reason. I was doing well, going right on pace, managing my injured foot, running toward the cutoff time at 10:15pm to start the 3rd loop. I figured, if I continue at that pace, I should finish 10 minutes before midnight. But no, somehow, my run had reduced to a walk. Then I had to tilt my head all the way back looking straight up into the sky in order to keep my upper body straight and just swing out my hips to move my legs so I can move as fast I as can manage. I looked at my GPS watch and saw the speed I was dragging at.
I felt my dream slipping away. There's no way I can meet the cutoff now. I was frustrated and getting sad. What's happening to me???? How do I fix me???? Why won't my legs move??? An older gentleman ran past me, and saw the funny way I was walking, stopped and asked if I was ok. I didn't look right. I replied, "No. Nothing is working. My body is not working and I don't understand why." We talked some more. He turned out to be a very experienced ironman triathlete and told me to drink chicken broth and coca cola from now on for the rest of the race. And that should fix me. Really? Are you serious? I was skeptical. I didn't know if my stomach can handle cola right now. It's not been right the whole day. He explained the reasoning, reminded me again and again to follow his advice, then left. When I reached the next aid station, I did exactly what he told me to do. And the next time I saw him again, I was running and had caught up to him. He said, "You look a lot stronger now. Now go get that cutoff time!" Thanks to him, I made the last cutoff. Now it's a race to the finish line.
So after that, I was running so desperately trying to make up all the lost time. For the next 2 hours, I was running mostly in the dark by myself. Wondering where everyone is? Some parts were pitch black and I wonder if I took the right turns. And trying not to trip over anything in the dark. It was a crazy mix of fear, and calculate and re-calculate my pace against time, and keep pushing my body and ignoring any pain. I was so close. It was a foot race against time at this point. The volunteers at the aid stations cheered me on, told me to keep running and ran along side me to give me my drink so I didn't have to stop. I had no time to waste. They screamed, "Go! Go! Go! We'll chase after you! Just go!" And they would chase after me with a chicken broth and cola. It was down to the wire. At the last aid station, a volunteer, Eric, ran with me for the last 2 miles counting down time for me. "Come on, we can make it... you have 20 minutes... 15 minutes... 10... 5... Can you run any faster?" I tried. I tried to run as fast I as I possibly could. But it's been almost 17 hours. I saw my dream fade away with every passing minute. 1 mile to go, 8 minutes left. I couldn't even run a 8 minute mile when I'm healthy. My heart sank. Fuck. I was so close. I came all this way. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.... So finally, the clock struck midght when I only had few hundred yards left to go and I can see the finish line just around the corner. I didn't care about the clock, I'm not going to quit now. I didn't give up for 17 hours, I am not going to quit now. I didn't know what to expect at the finsh line now that it's midnight. I just knew that I set out to finish this. And I'm going to finish it no matter what.
As I turned the corner, people lined the sides and told me to run faster. "Run! Hurry! They're waiting for you! You can still make it!" Everyone's leaning over to see who's the last person coming home. I saw my mother running out looking all worried. But as soon as she realized it was me running up the hill she was soooo happy. I never seen her so happy to see me. As it turns out. The race officially ended at midnight. But they can see me coming, so they announced to the crowd that there's one more person coming in. The race officials and the crowd waited for me because I was so close. To see who's the last person coming in. Oh my god, I made it. I can't believe this. I ran down the finish chute with my family running behind me and crowd going nuts. Just the way I pictured it in my head. But way better. And the annoucer says, "Here comes Monica Jan from California. The ONLY unofficial finisher of 2008 Ironman Arizona!." It was awesome. It was amazing. Everyone there waiting for me and cheering me on as I ran down the chute. Then I heard what I've been waiting to hear for a year. What I worked so hard for as I cross the finish line. He said, "Monica. You're an Ironman!" Yes! I made it! I'm an Ironman! I made it!!!!! It was such an overwelming moment I was just ecstatic. And I think the finish photo captured that moment. They gave me the medal. Finisher's hat and tshirt. I got everything that an official finisher would, just short of having my finish time officially recorded. But that's ok by me. I achieved my goal. I got everything I wanted and more.
More than 2000 triathletes started the race. Due to the horrible condition, more than normal amount of athletes didn't finish this year. There are 1690 official finishers. Which made me 1691. And I later found out, there were still more than 300 people behind me on the race course. But becaues they're too far behind me, they only waited for me. The race was shutdown after I came in. I made it just in time to be a finisher. And to become an Ironman. With that, I became the only unofficial finisher this year and received the very last medal they awarded. And the very last finisher picture they took. What a story for a first ironman. What an unexpected ending that I'll never forget.
Total race time: 17 Hours 7 Minutes 12 Seconds
Total distance: 2.4 mile swim + 112 mile bie + 26.2 mile run = 140.6 miles
What I learned:
It was an emotional roller coaster ride the entire day. Switching back and forth between focus and push the limits, to racing against the clock, to moments of hopes and dream draining away, to frustrations, to fear, to being inspired, to renewed hope, then only to fear again, to desperation, to keeping the dream alive, then to just pure stubborness and determination, to joy, and finally the overwelming finish moment.
What I learned, is to never give up. No matter how bad things are and how bleak the piture seems. It ain't over yet. You never know what's going to happen. Just have to keep going. So many things went wrong. But somehow, it all worked out at the end. A better first ironman story than I had ever hoped for.
Throughout the day, I got all emotional when I saw the cheering crowds that reminded me of all my friends back home. All your text messages that I received throughout the race brought tears and smile. It was the most amazing overwelming feeling to know how many people love and support me. I could not have done this without you guys. All your support and encouragements. All the good mojos you sent me. They helped me push all the way to the finish line. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Some of you played an instrumental role in my training this year:
To Team Beer Socks (Steph, Tara, Adriana), thank you for helping me build up my bike milege and reach my first century ride.
To Michelle, thank you for always getting to gym early to make sure I have a bike for spinning class as I run in late from work every week.
To Ana, thank you for being the best running partner there is and never let me get lazy and slip.
To Keith, thank you for always being understanding and supportive. You're the best boss anyone can have. I'm so lucky.
And last but not least,
To Nikki, thank you for everything. From playing my personal PR, to rounding up the gang for support, to always being there for me and be the voice of reasoning. Thank you for helping me this whole year through all the emotional ups and downs, and keep reminding me to stick to my training. Along with all the cookies, cakes, brownies you brought to my office despite me vandalizing your office all the time...
You know, I'm truly blessed to have you all in my life. That means more to me than any ironman medal.
Love you all,
Monica
