It's been a while since I last bloged. Really not much to report. Life has passed by in the fast lane as usual for me. So fast I can't quite recall just exactly what have I done. Do you ever get the feeling that life is just passing you by?
Injury's all healed. Holiday's over. Everything seems normal and rosy. I fell back into my normal self and busy busy busy. Which makes me wonder, what am I so busy about? Every once a while I try to cut out all activities and un-busy myself. Maybe I should just keep a constant balance rather than bouncing between full throttle and idle. Although, I never last very long in the idle state. Just thinking... in a pondering mood tonight.
Trying to figure some things out lately. And wonder what exactly do I want and where am I going right now. Part of me want a really big change. The other part is so comfortable with the wonderful comfy stable life I have built. If there's no consequences, and no mortgage to pay, I'd probably strap on my backpack and go travel around the world with my journal again. I see myself sitting in the dark corner of a jazz club in a foreign city, enjoying the music, deep in thoughts and writing my journal. Or just sitting in a cafe people watching.
Work is crazy busy. Always been a top performer and strive to do the best. My job is great and my boss loves me. Yet work has consumed majority of my life. I'm familiar with my own ambitions. Been this way since I was a kid. But is the way I am preventing me from really LIVING my life?
Here's the latest thought. Just a random thought that occurred to me. What would happen if I change the famliar living style of all work and busy to something completely different? Do a 180 and see how my life may change?
Are we just never satisfied? At this horrible economy durning a global financial crisis, I am blessed with a great job and stability. Yet I'm itching for some change. Perhaps I should just learn to stay put and quit seeking challenges? Maybe I don't need to make anything better or do better? Maybe this is good enough?
I watched a car roll over in front of me on the 405 Fwy last Saturday. A split second after I glanced down to read my text message while driving at 80 mph. That car barely missed me. He lost control and his SUV cut through 4 lanes of highway diagonally coming straight at me. Had I looked 1 second longer, I wouldn't have seen him coming and hit my brakes. My life would've changed in that instant. I was quite shaken up after. And could not stop thinking what it could've been. Perhaps it did change my life. It made me think. I could've been dead or really hurt last week. But I didn't, I'm here typing this blog. So how do I want to live my life given I'm still here? Alive and well typing my thoughts out loud. What would you do if you're given a second chance in life?
