I came across this book called Between Trapezes today. We've seen trapeze artists do amazing things. Watch carefully, and you will notice there is always a time trapeze artists are between trapezes. They must let go of one trapeze so they can grab onto another. This is the only way they can be successful. And, it's what you must do to be successful.
This metaphor of the trapeze also applies in life. You must first learn to let go before you can move onto the next stage in life. It's a scary thought. A scary thing to do. Especially when you're in a good place and everything is going well. So what happens when you let go but don't catch the next trapeze? I suppose you'll then just climb back on and try again. But that between trapeze time, is truly nerve wrecking. But without letting go the old one, you'll never find out what's waiting for you on the other side.
Letting go of my home, my old life, and flying solo reaching for the next trapeze. Ready... 1... 2... 3... let go!
So, one more thing checked off my life list. I did it! Conquered the Half Dome this past Saturday!!! It was totally crazy tho. Everyone’s been telling me... you’re crazy! But hey, tell me something I don’t know.
We drove up Friday night after hockey game. Had 3 hours of sleep. Then hiked for 10 hours straight up and back. Awesome awesome hike! I especially loved climbing up the cables for the final leg. It was a beautiful day and perfect weather. I knew it was not easy to do the Half Dome, but it was harder than I expected. Totally worth it though. If anyone wanna do it, consult me on what NOT to do first. Haha.
So now one more item down, many more to go on my life list. And the list seems to continue to grow too. Hmmm... I guess I just have to live longer.
You know, life is just so funny. You can plan and plan and plan and hope everything happens according to plan. But it never does. You get thrown for a loop then only back to square one and re-planning again... only to find that nothing goes as planned again. Ha. And when you look back, it always turns out better than you could’ve planned. Maybe it’s just me. Gotta stop planning and anticipating and just go with it. Let life happen.
Only 200 days to go until the Arizona Ironman. I'm sooooooooooo not ready. Still have to get my swim time shaved down, biking cadence picked up, and just simply run faster. And the 20 extra pounds on me really isn't helping me either. What to do... what to do...? I know, let me start a blog to help me track and monitor my progress. Really, just to keep me honest.
With little more than 6 months to go... there's no more time to waste. Gotta get on top of it now. Ready... GO!
I know, it's prob not a big deal to many people. But to me it's a big deal. I joined a local master swim program about 7 years ago after watching the olympics and thought maybe one day I'll compete in a meet. But that ended quickly due to a job change and I moved. Now fastforward 7 years... Yay! I'm in a meet!
I went to swim practice last Saturday morning as usual, and coach asked me to come to the meet this weekend and she'll put me on the relay team. I said to her, "Are you sure? I suck..." And she said I don't suck so just show up and do my best. What do you know... I ended up swimming in the 400M mixed medley and 200M mixed freestyle relay. And even dove off the starter block without losing my goggles for the first time ever! Yay! My time was not so great, but I'm so reliefed that I also didn't end up last place. Now that I'm on the team, coach said that there're 5 more meets coming up. This will definitely motivate me on my training. Oh btw, our club won first place!!! So I guess I didn't drag everyone down too much. Haha. Go Nova!
So this was the highlight of my weekend. I really needed it. It's been kind of rough lately. And I've been feeling really really down. I keep reminding myself of all the good things in life I'm blessed with. And focus on the good things in my life. Well, life has its way of playing out. I just have to not lose sight of where I'm going and who I am. In many ways, life is like an Ironman race, there're ups and downs, and the road is anything but smooth and easy. But the important thing is, to never give up. Stick to the fight and keep going no matter what, and you'll eventually get over that hill and get on the fast track. If it didn't work this time, try again next time. Be patient, because who knows... 7 years later you just might end up in a swim meet like you wanted, when you're least expected.
8/6/2007 Monday - Update:
OMG, who would've thought??? I was just excited yesterday that I entered my first meet. I didn't even bother checking the results because I thought I was so slow so what's the point? But I went online to check it today because coach said I should write my time down as a starting point. I was shocked and had to read it twice... My relay team won first place in our division!!! OMG!!! I was so shocked I had to email my coach to make sure I didn't read it wrong. And she said she has my medal that I didn't pick up at the meet! WOOHOO!!!!!! Wow... I'm still in shock and disbelief... Some life, huh? Happening when you're not expected! Holy shit, I won my first meet!!!!!!! WAAHOOO!!!!!
I think, it's a learning process. Love is not a sprint, but a marathon. People are rarely who you initially thought they were. But when you really take the time to get to know someone, and find yourself starting to understand and smile at all their quirkiness... When their dorkiness stops bothering you and becomes adorable... you know your heart is in trouble.
Just want to write and say thanks to all of you for your encouragement and support.
Oh geez, how do I even summarize this race... It was a really long weekend and probably best described as a series of unfortunate events.
Laurel and I drove up Thursday afternoon, but by that night, I came down with a cold. I knew I was getting sick, but chgged airborne all week. Well, it finally hit Thursday night. So the new addition to my race nutrition plan was tylenol cold and chloroseptic tablets. By Friday morning, I got my period. Now I'm carrying tampons with me on my race too. Then Friday afternoon, when we finally got to camp, a car door slammed on my left thumb so hard that it was bruised and swollen instantly and not usable thru the race. I iced it for a hour, but still could not bend it. Not that it impacts the race, but made taking off wetsuit, shifting gear w/ my left thumb, and tearing open gel packs and tylenol packs on the bike in high winds kinda tough... sigh. Oh, and then there was the 40 degrees night in the tent the night before the race with a cold not able to breath or sleep... But I thought as long as I'm still breathing (or half breathing), I'll do this race. What else can go wrong anyways...?
So now we're at race day morning. It was mild temperature at about 78 degrees. But the wind was the worst this race has ever seen in its 25 years history. It was so strong that made the lake look like an ocean with waves. To my surprise, I finished my swim 10 minutes earlier than I thought I would. Zig zaged between the kayakers and the buoy, had problem sighting and choked a few times due to the high waves. Drank a lot of lake water. But learned quickly that I need to raise my head higher than normal to avoid the choppy water to get air. Bike is normally my stronger portion. But this time I was in for a surprise. The bike distance is 56 miles total. The entire way, there was either a 15mph head wind or cross wind. It was relentless. The whole time my bike swerved whenever a gusty wind comes thru. I thought something was wrong w/ my bike, but then realized the wind was so strong it was making noises blowing thru the spokes of my wheels and pushing the bike around. Many people went down and we kept hearing and seeing ambulances rushing thru. Then when we finally took a turn where there's no wind, there's a 7 miles continuous steep uphill climb at mile 42. My quad muscles were pretty spent by the end of that hill. What else... oh... had to stop to fix a chain that fell off my bike and got stuck in gear. Then had to bike around a snake in the middle of the uphill climb. That was kinda funny. I saw the snake, and said to mylself, you have got to me kidding me... any more surprises? I had to really make sure I was going around his tail since I was climbing so slowly, so I don't piss him off and get biten. I knew I didn't have much time left before cutoff, so I was popping in medicine and cough tablets right before I get to transition so I can just feel better and take off on my run quickly. However, when I finally crossed the timing mat, an official came up to me, took my timing chip away, put her hand on my shoulder, and told me "thank you for coming". I was dissapointed to say the least. I can still keep going, just let me run. But she said I'm not allowed to continue. I never wanted to run 13.1 miles so much my entire life.
I gave it my all, but I guess it just came up short this time... 4 minutes and 59 seconds short to be exact. I never stopped or quit trying. Total race time: 5 Hours, 36 Minutes 59 Seconds. I missed the cutoff by about 5 minutes.
It was one of the most humbling experience. I learned so much from this race that I will apply to my next ironman race. And the amount of emotion I felt and saw from other people was undescribable and overwelming. I sat on the ground next to my bike in the transition area for a long time afterwards. And realized how important it is to have supportive family and friends like you. So I just want to give you all a quick run down of this weekend, and also to say thanks to you all. Reception was really bad up at Lake San Antonio at the campsite. But I did receive all of your emails, text, and voice messages. They meant so much to me, and kept me going on my race. Thank you so much for your support.
Life is so short. You gotta live it to the fullest.
I must've slept only 2 hrs last night. All day yesterday and all night last night, I dug really deep and asked myself if this is really what I want. I talked to many people and my coach. It's a huge commitment I'm making. I've been playing with the idea of doing a full ironman for a while now. And today, I officially signed up to do a full ironman next year in Tempe, Arizona. The big date: Sunday 4/13/2008.
I had always hated running... and couldn't swim anything other than breast stroke. Biking has always been just for fun since I was a kid jumping the ramps, riding the stairs, and jumping over my little sister. (I know.. I know... I was a kid. I do love my little sister.) I can still remember making a comment few years back that I'll never do a half or full marathon. That it's just crazy. But I've always admired all the people who are so athletic and competing in triathlons. I thought, maybe, just maybe, one day I can do that too. It all seemed so distant back then. I couldn't swim or run. But fast forward to today... several open water triathlons, half marathon, and bike tour under my belt... 3 weeks away from my first half-ironman. Today, doing a full ironman race is becoming a realistic plan than a distant dream .
I'm definitely nervous. And scared that I may be in way over my head. But I'll never know unless I try, right? And thankfully, I have a group of supportive family and friends. Who at the same time all seem to think I'm crazy...
But hey, I came to the conclusion that I am just crazy like that... my brain somehow works that way and keeps dreaming up goals that I want to achieve. But dreams are just that, unless you make up your mind and really go for it, they will never have the chance to become reality.
Anything is possible... just gotta do it and keep trying... one step at a time... just keep trying.
I have 12 months... I'll keep reminding myself that I can do this. This one won't be easy... I hope next year this time, I'll be posting my finish time. Wish me luck.
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''
That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.
``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
Catching up on Grey's Anatomy episode from last week... these narratives at the end particularly struck a cord with me:
"We all think we're going to be great, and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes, our expectations sell short. Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations? Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still. The expected, is just the beginning. The unexpected, is what changes our lives."
